Men's Therapy for ADHD, Autism,
and Relationship Struggles
For men who are tired of shutting down, people-pleasing, over-explaining, avoiding conflict, or losing themselves in relationships.
You can hold complexity at work that most people can't. With the people who matter most, something doesn't translate. You go quiet. You over-explain. You apologize before you know whether you did anything wrong. You never quite say the thing you meant.
This is therapy for men who've noticed the pattern—and tried to logic their way out of it more than once.
Book a Free 20-Minute ConsultationEffective at work. Stuck where it matters.
The men who do best with this work are often externally competent and quietly stuck in relationships. They've read the books. Some have done years of therapy. They can explain the pattern and still watch it happen.
Many are ADHD, autistic, or AuDHD. Masking, emotional flooding, difficulty identifying feelings in real time, and a lifetime of being misunderstood can change what conflict feels like in the body. Therapy has to distinguish a protective relational pattern from a nervous system that has exceeded capacity—and work with both.
Some are partnered. Some are dating. Some are trying to understand why a relationship ended. The common thread is the gap between the man you intend to be and what takes over when closeness, criticism, desire, or conflict raises the stakes.
You may recognize yourself here
- You shut down, over-explain, or leave the room when conflict escalates
- You manage other people's reactions and lose track of what you want
- You give without asking, then feel unseen or resentful
- You recognize the approval-seeking and covert contracts in No More Mr. Nice Guy
- You can name the pattern, but insight has not changed it
- You want direct work without being shamed, coached at, or reduced to a stereotype about men
Individual therapy across Washington
Sessions are 60 minutes by telehealth for adults located anywhere in Washington State. This is individual therapy, including for men working on patterns inside a partnership. View the session fee and practice policies.
What this looks like in session
We start with what is actually happening: the argument you replayed for three days, the boundary you explained six different ways, the moment your mind went blank, the need you hoped your partner would notice without being told.
Then we slow the sequence down. What did your body register? Which part of you took over? What was it trying to prevent? Was the problem fear, shame, sensory overload, rejection sensitivity, an old relational strategy—or several of them at once?
The goal is not to make you better at performing calm. It is to build enough internal room that you can stay present, tell the truth, tolerate another person's response, and choose what happens next.
Book a Free 20-Minute ConsultationMap the pattern
Name the sequence in relationships, conflict, dating, sexuality, work, and your body—without turning it into a character verdict.
Meet what drives it
Use IFS to work with the parts carrying shutdown, people-pleasing, resentment, pursuit, or withdrawal.
Practice something different
Try the honest no, the direct request, the repair after rupture, or staying in the room without abandoning yourself.
A specific map. Not a single theory.
The No More Mr. Nice Guy framework gives us a sharp map of approval-seeking, conflict avoidance, covert contracts, and resentment. IFS helps us work with the parts underneath those strategies instead of arguing with them. A neurodivergent lens keeps us from misreading overload, masking, alexithymia, or executive-function limits as unwillingness.
Terry Real's relational accountability and David Schnarch's differentiation model add the capacities the work is moving toward: facing your impact without shame collapse, staying connected without self-abandonment, and holding onto yourself when someone important is upset.
Training and depth
This is not a book-club version of men's work. The training and clinical experience are specific.
Certified No More Mr. Nice Guy Therapist
Matt is certified directly through Dr. Robert Glover's TPI program, with training in clinical application, mentorship, and co-facilitation alongside Dr. Glover.
IFS Level 1 Trained
Internal Family Systems Level 1 training through the IFS Institute.
Neurodivergent Practice Since 2020
LMHC working primarily with ADHD, autistic, and AuDHD adults since 2020.
Men's Group Experience
Years of leading and participating in men's groups, bringing directness, accountability, and honest naming into individual work.
What men ask before starting
Can therapy help if I shut down during conflict?
Yes — this is one of the most common reasons men come in. Shutdown is not a character flaw or avoidance in the moral sense. It's a nervous-system response that protected you for a long time. The work is teaching your system that it can stay present, and teaching you to recognize and intervene in the shutdown before it takes you offline.
Do you work with ADHD or autistic men in relationships?
This is the practice's primary population. Many clients are ADHD, autistic, or AuDHD men navigating partnerships, dating, post-breakup repair, or the relational fallout of years of masking.
Are you still a No More Mr. Nice Guy therapist?
Yes. Matt is certified directly through Dr. Robert Glover's TPI program. If you're specifically looking for NMMNG-focused therapy, it is available here. The framework is in the work; it is no longer the only frame.
Is this couples therapy?
No. This is individual therapy for men, including men in relationships. The work can focus on communication, conflict, dating, repair, or sexuality, but sessions happen one-on-one. If you need couples therapy, Matt can offer referrals.
Ready to do the work?
Start with a free 20-minute pre-consultation to see if this approach is the right fit for where you are.