You've read the book.
You still can't stop the pattern.
You know the covert contracts. The conflict avoidance. The resentment you can't seem to stop building. You've tried to change. Something keeps pulling you back — and it's not a character flaw.
Matt works with the parts underneath Nice Guy patterns — the shame, early wounding, and core beliefs that keep behavior locked in place even when you know better.
What is Men's Work?
Men's Work is therapy specifically focused on the psychological and relational patterns that show up distinctly for men: Nice Guy conditioning, approval-seeking, emotional suppression, and the disconnection from genuine self-respect and assertiveness.
Matt has spent years leading and participating in men's groups—spaces built on accountability, vulnerability, and the kind of direct feedback that rarely shows up elsewhere in men's lives. That experience shapes how he works individually: with directness, without judgment, and without false comfort.
For men navigating ADHD or neurodivergent patterns, Nice Guy conditioning creates a particularly exhausting double bind—wanting to change, unable to consistently follow through, and carrying shame about both. Matt works with this intersection directly.
Who this is for
- Men who've read No More Mr. Nice Guy — and recognize every page
- Men whose partner has asked them to get help, or left
- Men who know the patterns and still can't seem to stop them
- Men who avoid conflict at significant personal cost
- Men who give to get — and resent when the deal isn't honored
- Men exhausted by trying to change through willpower alone
- Men who want real change, not just better behavior on the surface
Geography
Individual men's work therapy is available to Washington State residents via telehealth. Session fee: $150. Sliding scale available.
Certified No More Mr. Nice Guy Therapist
Matt is one of a small number of therapists certified directly through Dr. Robert Glover's TPI training program — not just familiar with the book, but trained in the clinical application of the framework.
The Glover Connection
Matt has trained, mentored, and co-facilitated work directly with Dr. Robert Glover — author of No More Mr. Nice Guy and the developer of the TPI certification program. This isn't credential-collecting. It's the difference between reading a framework and having worked inside it with its creator.
That relationship informs everything: the clinical precision of the pattern work, the understanding of where the framework reaches its limits, and why IFS is the next layer.
Men's Group Experience
Years of leading and participating in men's groups has shaped Matt's clinical work. The group format builds accountability, breaks through isolation, and creates the conditions for the kind of honest feedback and vulnerability that drive real change.
That experience informs individual work: a willingness to say what's true, to name what he's seeing, and to hold the work with both directness and care.
The Nice Guy pattern — what it actually looks like
- Conflict avoidance and passive communication
- Covert contracts: "I'll do this, so they'll do that"
- Approval-seeking that masquerades as generosity
- Difficulty expressing needs or wants directly
- Resentment that accumulates without direct expression
- People-pleasing that comes at the cost of self-respect
- Sexual and relational difficulties rooted in inauthenticity
- An underlying belief that authentic self-expression is dangerous
A note on the name
No More Mr. Nice Guy doesn't mean becoming aggressive or uncaring. The work is about becoming integrated — able to be kind and have needs, generous and boundaried, connected and direct. It's about authenticity, not toughness.
NMMNG + IFS: why knowing isn't enough
The NMMNG framework names the patterns precisely. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy goes underneath them — to the parts of you carrying the shame, the fear, and the early experiences that keep those patterns running even when you know better.
What NMMNG alone addresses
- Identifying Nice Guy patterns
- Breaking covert contracts
- Building behavioral assertiveness
- Developing direct communication skills
- Creating more authentic relationships
"Behavioral change without inner work is willpower-dependent — exhausting, fragile, and often temporary."
What the IFS integration adds
- Working directly with the parts of you carrying shame — not just understanding them intellectually
- Accessing the early experiences that seeded the Nice Guy pattern
- Addressing wounds around gender identity and masculine conditioning
- Healing the parts shaped by family systems, cultural scripts, and inherited beliefs
- Building genuine self-respect from the inside — not performance
- Stepping back from the parts that drive people-pleasing automatically, so you can choose your response
- Developing the calm, grounded center that can actually lead your behavior
From behavioral change to integration
The NMMNG framework gives men a map of their patterns and tools to begin changing behavior. IFS gives them access to the parts underneath those patterns — the frightened young man who learned that needing things was dangerous, the angry part that's been suppressed for decades, the shame-laden piece that drives the approval-seeking.
Together, they create the conditions for real integration: not just better behavior at the surface, but a different relationship with yourself. A man who can be direct because he trusts himself — not because he's suppressing the part that's afraid.
What therapy looks like
Sessions are 60 minutes via telehealth. The work moves between the NMMNG framework (naming the pattern), IFS parts work (understanding what's underneath), and weekly behavioral experiments that test new ways of showing up in relationships and at work.
Expect directness. Matt will say what he notices. Sessions won't drift into comfortable vagueness or endless processing without movement. At the same time, this is not confrontational or shame-inducing work — the goal is always integration, not performance.
The pace respects both the urgency of change and the reality that the inner system needs to feel safe enough to actually open up. Both are true. Both matter.
Schedule a Free ConsultationMap the Pattern
Understand where the Nice Guy conditioning came from, how it shows up now, and what it's costing you in relationships, at work, and with yourself.
Meet the Parts Underneath
Approach the shame-carrying, fear-driven, and approval-seeking parts of yourself with curiosity — not judgment. Understand what they're protecting, and begin to work with them directly.
Build from the Inside Out
Develop the groundedness and assertiveness to show up differently in relationships — with honesty, directness, and genuine care rather than covert strategy.
What men ask before starting
Do I need to have read the book?
No. Familiarity with Glover's work helps — but what matters is recognizing the patterns. If you see yourself in the checklist above, the book is optional.
What is IFS and do I need to know it?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model that works with different "parts" of you — protective patterns, reactive behaviors, and the younger parts underneath them that carry old beliefs and wounds. No prior knowledge needed. Matt will introduce the framework as it becomes relevant.
My partner gave me an ultimatum. Is this the right fit?
Yes — this is one of the most common reasons men reach out. Relational crisis can be a powerful catalyst. The work doesn't require that motivation to disappear; it just asks that you bring it honestly.
I've tried therapy before and it didn't help. What's different here?
Most general therapy doesn't have a framework for Nice Guy patterns specifically. This work does. And most behavioral approaches don't address what's underneath the pattern — the shame and early wounding that keep behavior locked in place even when you know better. That's where IFS adds what the rest misses.
Is this only for men in relationships?
No. Nice Guy patterns show up at work, in friendships, and in how you relate to yourself — not just in romantic relationships. Men come to this work from all kinds of situations.
How long does this take?
Behavioral change can begin in weeks. Deeper work — the kind that actually shifts the beliefs underneath — typically takes months. Most men work for 6–12 months, though this varies significantly depending on the presenting issues and history.
Ready to do the real work?
Start with a free 20-minute pre-consultation to see if this approach is the right fit for where you are.